‘There’s a loneliness inside her, and she’d do anything to fill it in. And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now, it feels like cold blue ice in her heart….when all the colours mix together to grey.’(Dave Matthews Band)

…as I contemplate town tonight, I preach to myself, my soul if you like. knowing that if i listen closely, if i have the courage to do so, i just may see the divine, and in seeing the divine, i may see others as i should, as they really are…. i may just also see myself.

the trouble is, am i willing to see the truth of who i am, the real me?
for the reason i don’t stop most of the time is because i do not want to see who i am - that person who lurks beneath…
they say the truth sets you free, hmmm, it also breaks you to pieces

‘if i stopped
if i was quiet for a minute
if i was calm
if i was still
if i turned everyone down
if i switched everything off
if i ceased looking everywhere all at once
if i was silent
if i was still
if i stayed at home
if i didn’t pick up the phone
if i was out even when i was in
if i was silent
if i was still
if i slowed right down
if i simply sat here
there
anywhere
if i stood on my head
and emptied out the contents
if i stopped
would you be there
would you speak to me
would i be able to hear you
would it be worth it?
if i stopped
would it be long enough?
if i was silent
would i hear anything?
if i heard something would i know it was you?
if i did
would i be interested?
if i was
would i stop again?’
(Martin Wroe from ‘When You Haven’t Got a Prayer: A journalist talks to God’)

Will you find me?
Christ the Saviour who we wait for.

R, you were distant tonight. Far removed from an experienced reality. You were void.

For the first time ever I was unrecognisable to you.
You were sore on me, you were sore on yourself.
You couldn't see me tonight. You wouldn't allow yourself to look.

You couldn't see Me.


To live in this world, you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.
Mary Oliver

maybe I need to spend less time thinking about what I see, and more time thinking about why I see it that way...

‘To be born woman is to know…that we must labour to be beautiful’
Yeats

‘Beauty does not linger, it only visits. Yet beauty’s visitation affects us and invites into it’s rhythm, it calls us to feel, think, and act beautifully in the world: to create and live a life that awakens the Beautiful.’
(Father O’Donohue)