The simple ministry of Presence

More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first things should be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.
Henri Nouwen


Vanity asks the question, is it popular? Is it sexy?

But there comes a time when conscience will ask the question, is it TRUE?
I'm repulsed by my vanity, I am repulsed by my pride.
I'm repulsed by a sometimes consuming need for recognition, for a success story, for someone, anyone to take Emma and I seriously...forgive me brothers and sisters, forgive me Gomars...forgive me Jesus please...

Jesus I don't want recognition, I want to be of total insignificance...I want to walk as a "failure" if that guarantees I am walking true.

May Emma and I walk Your streets bankrupt within this fashioned economy of recognition so that our Gomars can know full and pure recognition when they finally stand at The Door and knock...

i must charge myself
unknown (a failure of sorts)
so that others may truly live...